Holiday: A Week in Review

             So, I went back home. That’s why my writing’s been sparse. Pleasant Hill kind of drains my motivation what with all the rousing games of “Count the Confederate Flag” that I end up playing. It’s like living in a white trash version of . The break was lovely and all. My mom was her usual adorable self. Went to the typical movie and a meal with Dad. I’m lucky to have parents that are reasonable people. Actual Thanksgiving was awkward. As per usual I was stuck in a house full of screaming children and their tired, grumpy parents who are all my adult 2nd cousins. I had to tread lightly around one of my uncles. My mother and I had recently helped his wife move out after years of verbal abuse. It was scary, they had to take all the guns out of the house while my uncle was away. He spent the day parked next the family matriarch, my 87-year-old great grandmother. 

          I attended my first ever Luft Thanksgiving. Besides the fact that my best friend was forced to act like she wasn’t really dating her girlfriend, it was a pretty great night. Mexican food, trivia, making jokes about oral sex, puppies, and I succeeded in giving a G-rated answer during the “What You’re Thankful For” part of the evening. “A private room and my vibrator” would not have been appropriate. I attempted flirting and failed as usual. Is there a course I can take to learn how? Because I must have missed it in middle school. An evening of green apple hookah and the last 1/8th of a gin martini (which was essentially just a glass o’gin) makes me a little angsty.

           I kinda took a break from social justice this week, hence why I don’t really have anything substantive to say. The most I could come up with is how there’s not a war on Christmas, but more like a war on Thanksgiving. You know, people who’ve already put their lights up and the radio stations that play Christmas music 24/7 starting November 1st. Maybe the conservatives are waging war against the more secular holiday? I wouldn’t put it past them…However, I bought a carton of egg nog the second I got a chance on friday. It had the consistency of motor oil and tasted like Jesus. The church should baptizing babies in egg nog. 

         I have three whole weeks to keep my shit together. Home stretch and what not. I have every season of Xena: Warrior Princess to cushion the blow of finals. I’ve been living in my head for the last week and it hasn’t helped much. Sorry to turn this into a diary entry, but that’s where I am. Once I get back to fucking shit up, I’ll be sure to report my progress.

– Lauren Mae


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